Posted in Article, Imaginative, love, Romance, thoughts, Uncategorized

Silence

Finally everything was over – from best friends to perfect strangers; that’s what time has made us into. You can put in the last drop of effort into it, but the result may or may not be what we expect it to be.

What have I done ?

Confessed that I love you more than anything in this world. I know I cannot make you love me if you don’t, but I’m sure I haven’t done anything wrong to you. The only thing I have ever done is make you feel special,make you realize how special you are to me. If proposing you was the mistake I have done,and that’s the reason you’re keeping me away then consider it my first and last.

You have seen me in my ups and downs as well, you knew me in and out.There was nothing in my life that I have kept hidden from you. You know how you felt when you were with me. I still cherish the moments I spent with you. And you know what ? I miss them like hell!

The talks we had, the songs you used to sing for me, everything has come to an end. It’s like reality has slapped on my face waking me up from my dream.

I used to look deep into your beautiful eyes behind those nerdy glasses. I always wanted to nuzzle your forehead and move away that pane of hair which fell on your face. I wanted to be your reason to smile, but all I’ve become is the reason for your endless silence.

It is as if all those moments we shared was a joke. Because a single thing I’ve said has become the reason for my biggest loss.The crack it made cannot be filled. The emptiness you’ve created cannot be filled and you who walked away from me cannot be replaced.

Even after all those things you said the other day, I still love you. I know you’ll never be mine. You made it clear. I wanted a reason, but I didn’t ask you for any. Because I couldn’t bare anything other than a ‘Yes’. Yes, I shouldn’t have kept my hopes high. It must be the ‘vibe’ we once shared that made me do all those ‘Deductions’ in my head.

I know I have to move on, but this mind is not letting me. It keeps showing me those memories in a loop.With all that pain buried deep inside, I put on a smile on my face.

Yes,I was hurt,wounded,bleeding profusely.But the fact that you never felt the way I felt was even more painful. It is killing me from inside. Those memories still haunt me.

I wont ask you to be mine or love me the way I love you. But I still can love you. That’s the only thing I can or will do. My love for you was unconditional,whether it was requited or unrequited.

 

Posted in Article, happiness, thoughts, Uncategorized

How to be happy

Have you ever thought “What kind of life am i leading?” or “What am i supposed to do with my life ?”

These are some of the questions that goes through a persons mind,may be a million times a day. Everyone is apprehensive about the future, about the past and waste the present. We’ve been given a life so exciting and fulfilling;instead of exploring it and making the best of it we worry over petty things like getting over a break up,what shall tomorrows exam be like and what not ?

The aim of our life is to be happy,as simple as that.What does it take for a person to be happy ? A bag full of money? A luxurious house to live in? Or a garage filled with premium luxury cars ? It doesn’t take much for a person to have peace of mind and eternal happiness. All it takes is to let go of the expectations and anxieties. Leave it all to fate. Well ‘fate’ is actually a tricky word to use.

Many people take the liberty to become lethargic or lazy pretending to leave it all to fate. Well the thing we should understand is the life we’re living now is a script well penned by a ‘higher authority’. Everything that happens in our lives,every person we see, the situations through which we go are all a part of the ‘big-game’. But still there are a lot of blank pages in the book which are left for us to fill in. We can fill it with anything we like. So when we are lying back and wasting time, we’re voluntarily denying ourselves many opportunities to fill in those blank spaces.

We often think a lot,and a lot, a bit more and put ourselves in a bad mood which really pull us back. If not tamed, it might lead to depression,bad health,and may even cause suicidal tendencies. They say one must be highly virtuous to be born a human. So why waste such a blessing. Fill in your mind with good deeds and thoughts, be happy,spread happiness. Paint the world with vibrant colors, compose music,write stories,laugh out loud,hang around with friends, because this moment is the only thing we have with us.

Later in our life we may come to a point where we might regret for not enjoying it. But then it would be too late and since time travel is currently not possible the only thing that we could do will be to regret. You may think this life is just so unfair. Because it denies you the fortunes which you deserve,while those are granted for those who do not deserve it,not even a tiny piece of it. But keep one thing in mind (Allow me to quote Paulo Coehlo) “If you want to see a rainbow,you should learn to see the rain”,you cannot succeed without failing.

So if you think something you planned didn’t go well,or something happened and your plan just got backfired,don’t worry. Learn from it,try not to repeat the mistake next time and also give it sometime.It sure will come around.

Experiences are the best teachers this life can provide us with. Each experience,god or bad is a lesson for us. Even a small bad situation we have been in,can teach us a lot. Learn from them and we can master ourselves.

This life may not give you everything you want. But it sure will provide everything you need;at proper place;on proper time. After all,if everything we need is given to us at the moment we think of it,there wouldn’t be anything interesting to do with our life.

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മറപൊരുൾ

 

ഭാഷയുടെ കരുത്തുകൊണ്ടും എഴുത്തിന്റെ മനോഹാരിത കൊണ്ടും വായനക്കാർക്ക്‌ എന്തുകൊണ്ടും നല്ലൊരു വായനാനുഭവം നൽകുന്ന പുസ്തകമാണ് ശ്രീ രാജീവ് ശിവശങ്കറിന്റെ ‘മറപൊറുൾ’.കേരളമെന്നല്ല ഭാരതത്തിനൊട്ടാകെ ഒരു സാംസ്കാരിക ഭൂപടം നിർമ്മിച്ച ശ്രീ ശങ്കരാചാര്യരുടെ ജീവിതത്തിനു നേരെ പിടിച്ച ഒരു കണ്ണാടിയാണ് ഈ നോവൽ എന്ന്  പറയാം.

ജീവചരിത്രവും ഭാവനകളും സമാസമം ചേർന്നു ഒരു പ്രേത്യേക വയനാനുഭൂതിയാണ് സമ്മാനിക്കുന്നത്.

ശങ്കരൻ നടന്ന ഓരോ വഴികളുടേയും കടന്നു പോയ സ്ഥലങ്ങളുടെയും വർണ്ണനകൾ അതീവ സൂക്ഷ്മമാണ്. ഒരു നോവലിന്റെ രസച്ചരട് പൊട്ടിക്കാതെ തന്നെ ആത്മീയതയും സന്ദര്ഭോചിതമായ പുരാണ കഥകളും നോവലിന് മുതൽക്കൂട്ടാകുന്നു. ധാരാളം സ്ഥലങ്ങളിൽ സംസ്‌കൃത ശ്ലോകങ്ങൾ ഉദ്ധരിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ടെങ്കിലും അതൊന്നും വായനക്കാരന് മുഷിച്ചിലുണ്ടാകാത്ത വിധം വളരെ തന്മയത്വത്തോട് കു‌ടി അവതരിപ്പിക്കാനുള്ളഎഴുത്തുകാരന്റെ കഴിവ് എടുത്തു പറയേണ്ടതാണ്.


നോവലിന്റെ തുടക്കം മാഹിഷ്മത്തിയിലെ ഒരു വാദസഭയിൽ നിന്നാണ്. കാർമ്മകാണ്ഡ വാദിയായ മണ്ഡനമിശ്രനോട് ഏറ്റു മുട്ടുകയും ദിവസങ്ങളോളം വാദം നീണ്ടു പോയി ,ഒടുവിൽ മണ്ഡനമിശ്രൻ തോൽവി സമ്മതിക്കുന്ന ഘട്ടത്തിൽ ഭാര്യയായ ഉഭയഭാരതി വാദം മുന്നോട്ടു കൊണ്ടു പോകുന്നു. ഒടുവിൽ ഉത്തരം പറയാൻ പറ്റാത്ത ഘട്ടത്തിൽ സമയം ആവശ്യപ്പെടുകയും ആവശ്യമായ അറിവ് നേടാൻ നടത്തുന്ന പരകായ പ്രവേശനങ്ങളുമെല്ലാം വായനക്കാരെ ഉദ്‌വേഗഭരിതരാക്കുന്നു.എതിരഭിപ്രായക്കാരെ കായികബലം കൊണ്ട് നേരിടുന്നതിന് പകരം തന്റെ ജ്ഞാനവും വാക്ചാതുരിയും കൊണ്ട് തോൽപ്പിക്കുന്ന ഭാരതത്തിൽ നിലനിന്നിരുന്ന വാദ പ്രതിവാദ സഭകളെ അങ്ങേയറ്റം മനോഹരമായി ചിത്രീകരിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട്.

ഇതിനോടൊപ്പം തന്നെ ശങ്കരാചാര്യരുടെ ദർശനത്തിലെ ചില സംശയങ്ങൾ ലേഖകൻ കഥാപാത്രങ്ങളെ കൊണ്ട് തന്നെ ചോദിപ്പിക്കുന്നുമുണ്ട്. ശങ്കരാചാര്യരുടെ ജീവിതത്തെ കുറിച്ചറിയുന്നവർക്കും, അറിയാത്തവർക്കും ഒരുപോലെ വായിക്കാവുന്നതുമായ ഒരു പുസ്തകമാണ് ‘മറപൊരുൾ’.

ഭൂമിശാസ്ത്ര വർണ്ണനകൾ കാരണം കാലടി മുതൽ കേദാരം വരെയോരു യാത്രയ്ക്ക് ഈ പുസ്തകം ഒരു സഹായഗ്രന്ഥമാക്കാം.

Posted in Uncategorized

Last Words of a dead

It has been almost a week since I had a good sound sleep. I’m afraid of nights today. Not because I’m afraid of dark. I used to love darkness. I used to sit alone in the darkness throughout the night. But today I hate it. Moreover I am scared of it. All of these just because I can’t sleep. Do you know how it feels to go to sleep but you lay on the bed with your eyes wide open staring into the darkness? It feels as if someone is watching you from the corner of the room. I have a mirror to the left of my bed. So that even though it’s dark, I can see a small reflection of mine. Sometimes it feels as if someone’s going to jump out of the mirror and pull you in by your neck. All of these may sound weird. But that’s exactly what I’m going through right now.

I don’t feel like going out of home. It’s more like I can’t go out of home. Something is pulling me back. A force so strong that I can’t even move an inch out of my home. Sometimes I enjoy the solitude but sometime I want to strangle myself to death over the same solitude. I was petrified the other day when suddenly my own reflection started talking to me while I was brushing. I was numb for a few minutes. But when I regained my consciousness I ran to my bedroom, slid under my blanket and closed my eyes. I don’t remember how many minutes or hours I spent under it. I tried to forget that image. But each time I tried to forget, it was being etched onto my mind. Last night I was trying to get some sleep when I heard knocks and thuds at the front door. They couldn’t open it. They kept on hitting hard until the door surrendered.

I was surprised to see a huge crowd. I could recognize a few faces. I was standing right in the middle of the hallway utterly clueless of the events going on. They walked right past me without even a glance. I was angry at them for intruding into my ‘Not-so-good-night’. But still I followed them. They were searching for something. Their search over in front of the room on the second floor of my house.

The crowd covered their nose dew to awful stench coming out of the room. They burst into the room and saw a half rotten me. Well, that surprised me. Because if I’m right here then who is that rotten, stanching me? It was then I realized that none looked at me. They behaved as if I was not there. For them I’m now a rotting body. A person knelt down and took a piece of paper which laid beside my body which read

“ I WANT TO SEE WHAT’S ON THE OTHER SIDE…..”

Posted in Article, current affairs, politics, Uncategorized

The Great Indian Circus

Youth of today are citizens of tomorrow.  Representing the above I would say that the major threat to today’s younger generation is student politics. In the beginning it was used judiciously to address the problems faced by the students or to fight against the wrong doings of the college authority. But today it has become yet another platform for the students to ‘Hone’ their criminal talents. The recent situations that have been happening in our country is a solid evidence for that.

India is a country where we value everyone’s freedom of expression. But recent events points out that, it has been taken advantage of. Conducting a strike (a peaceful one) is a way of expressing disagreement towards a decision. But what students often forget is that “Your freedom ends where my nose begin”. If a student can slap on the face of an eminent personality, that too in the presence of people responsible for safeguarding the law, it is only because of the inability of our Indian judiciary. The recent issue that has happened in the JNU is a remarkable evidence to prove that today’s student unions can become a major threat for our nation tomorrow.

The student unions are diverted off their course. Supporting a terrorist activity that took place in 2001 is not at all agreeable. It is not the way how a Student’s Union should work. Citizens do have the right to question the Government. But such a movement says that there is some other ‘Big Fish’ behind this. Anyone who raises voice against the nation is an anti national. Whoever it may be. They should be brought to justice.

Banning politics will not be a good idea. Instead, students should be made aware of the real cause they are fighting for. They should know the pros and cons of the outcome of their movement. In this way politics can be used in a judicious way other than letting things go out of control.

Posted in Imaginative, Spiritual, Uncategorized

Saṃsāra

I found the four walls closing in on me. I stood there helpless. There was nothing I could do. So I laid down. Calm and still. After a few minutes I woke up. It was dark everywhere. For a minute I even thought I was blind. But it was darkness. Within seconds light came. I could see the entire universe. I could feel the wind on my hair. I saw the Seven Wonders of the World in like 2 seconds. I saw the whole people of the world in a few minutes. In that journey I saw me on the bed lying still with loved ones around me. I wanted to drop by and join them. But I couldn’t stop myself. I’ve never felt this much of freedom that, I didn’t want to rest for even a second. I did not stay anywhere, I kept on traveling like a ludicrous person. Just like a kite that is detached from its string. I was traveling at the speed of light. But Suddenly I felt a pull. It was so strong that it held me back from moving forward an inch.

Suddenly everything went black again. Darkness crept over me. I waited for light. I dozed off waiting. When I woke up, I saw a doctor. He was pulling me out, into this world of never ending cycles of life and death. I remembered everything from my past. I wanted to speak. But all that came out was a cry, which made others in the room happy. My mother shed the tears of joy. But that cry was not that good for me. That cry made me forget about my past. My mind became a clean slate. I rested in my mother’s arms.

Later, after many years, I sat down wondering ‘What is death?’ It’s just another reality. Where you realize that you are not just the body. You are above it. You have no beginning or end. You just go on.

PS: Saṃsāra (Sanskrit संसार) is the repeating cycle of birth, life and death (reincarnation) as well as one’s actions and consequences in the past, present, and future in Hinduism, Buddhism, Bon, Jainism, Taoism, and Sikhism.

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A Yacht Of Dreams

At last,the tides were right. Wind too. The sea was out there calm and quiet. Perfect time to set out on a voyage. The cool wind blew,albatross’ flew, the port was always lively. A ship was anchoring. Or was it leaving ? Into the mysterious sea?or mysteries ?

Nothing is more sybaritic than a sail. To peep into the mysteries of sea ,travel to the edge of the world and finally disappear. Wow, best thing anyone could do. I stepped into the yatch. Did i slip ? Yes indeed. Fell out into the open water. Was it all a dream ?
Because i woke up.

No it wasn’t. Because i was still inside my yacht,which was flagged off from nowhere and going somewhere.

You may be wondering. Whether I am dreaming or living it. The choice, I leave it to you. Because your answers may vary upon whether you are dreaming or living them.